Behaving in Public Take the test →

Behaving in public

You are here. So is everyone else.

Field test no. 1

Buffer Zone

Eleven rooms, one row of urinals in each, and people already standing at some of them. Choose where to stand, then get through whatever happens next. It’s a throwback to a Flash urinal game that made the rounds online years ago. Flash is mostly gone, but the problem isn’t, so here’s a new version, made with the help of Claude. It’s a joke, but the advice is real.

Enter the room About 3 minutes

Nobody teaches these rules and everybody notices when you break them. Most of them come down to one thing: other people are as real as you are, and they also need to get past.

ATrains and buses

  • Let people off first.The carriage can’t fill until it empties.
  • Take your backpack off.It is wider than you think, and you can’t feel what it hits.
  • One person, one seat.Your bag doesn’t have a ticket.
  • Offer the priority seat before anyone has to ask.Plenty of reasons for needing it can’t be seen from across the aisle.
  • Headphones, every time.Nobody has ever wanted to hear the other half of your video.

BLifts

  • Wait to the side of the doors.People need to get out before you can get in.
  • Spread out, then face the doors.Even spacing, eyes forward. It’s the same rule as in a men’s room.
  • Standing by the buttons? You work here now.Ask “Which floor?” and press for anyone who can’t reach.
  • Step out to let people past.If you’re by the door and someone behind you is leaving, get out, wait, get back in.

CQueues

  • Find the back and go there.Joining a friend further up? Tell the people behind them before you do it.
  • Leave a person’s width of space.Standing closer doesn’t make the queue any faster.
  • Have your card ready at the front.You’ve had the whole queue to find it.
  • “Just a quick question” is still queueing.Everyone ahead of you also has a question.
  • Wave through the person with one item.It costs you a minute. They’ll remember it all day.

DPavements and escalators

  • Stop at the edge, never in the middle.Pull over to check your phone, as you would in a car.
  • Two abreast at most.Three people side by side is a wall.
  • On escalators, copy the locals.Stand on whichever side the people ahead of you are standing. Tokyo and Osaka don’t even agree with each other.
  • Keep walking when you step off.People are arriving behind you whether you’re ready or not.
  • Tilt your umbrella as you pass.Your shoulder height is someone else’s eye height.

EPhones and noise

  • Speakerphone stays at home.Holding the phone flat in front of your face fools nobody.
  • Keep private things private.If you wouldn’t tell a stranger, don’t tell a carriage of them.
  • Match your volume to the distance.Your voice only has to reach the person you’re talking to.
  • Turn off keyboard clicks.Nobody needs to hear you type.

FCinemas and theatres

  • Keep your phone dark.A lit screen in a dark room pulls every eye in the row.
  • Open your snacks before it starts.Unwrapping slowly only makes the noise last longer.
  • Save the commentary for afterwards.Whispers carry further than you think.
  • If you’re late, wait for a quiet moment.Then say sorry once and move quickly.

GPlanes

  • Wait for your boarding group.Standing at the gate doesn’t make the plane leave sooner.
  • The middle seat gets both armrests.It’s the only perk that seat has.
  • Look behind you before reclining, and go slowly.There may be a laptop, a drink or a knee back there.
  • Leave row by row.Tight connection? Tell the crew before landing and let them sort it out.

HCafés and restaurants

  • Put your phone down when you order.The person serving you is having a whole day too.
  • Never snap, whistle or wave.Catch someone’s eye and wait.
  • Give the table back when it’s busy.One coffee doesn’t rent a table for the whole lunch rush.
  • Check whether trays go back.Look at what other people are doing, then do that.

IGyms

  • Wipe it down.Your sweat doesn’t come with the machine.
  • Put your weights back.The next person shouldn’t have to unload your session.
  • Offer to share between sets.Resting on a machine still counts as using it.
  • Keep other people out of your videos.Nobody came here to be in your background.

JPublic toilets

  • Keep a gap when you can.Some people physically can’t go with someone right beside them. It’s called paruresis, or shy bladder.
  • Eyes front, voice off.A nod is plenty. Conversation can wait for the sinks.
  • Keep your phone in your pocket.It has a camera, and this is the room where that matters.
  • Use soap.The next person has to touch that door.
  • Leave the stall as you’d want to find it.Flush, check, and tell someone if it’s out of paper.
  • Keep the accessible stall free if you have other options.And never question who’s using it. Not every disability shows.

Test your urinal etiquette

Where these tips come from

The last rule: let it go

These are for you, and you shouldn’t enforce them on strangers. The person on the wrong side of the escalator may be new in town. The person sitting in the priority seat may need it more than they look. Assume there’s a reason, and only step in if someone is being hurt.

Sources

Sections A to I are everyday courtesy, written for this site, with no published source behind them. Section J and the Buffer Zone test draw on these pages. Most are humour or lifestyle pieces, so read them as opinion rather than research.